In September of last year I decided, after talking to a few single seniors, to throw my hat into the ring and dive into an online dating site. I specifically chose one that was geared to those of us over the age of 50. I was heartened to see that one of my favorite writers had met a nice guy on the site I had chosen, and a friend had recently met someone who seemed like a good match for her on the same site. I was ready, or so I thought.
Over the past four months I have "met" several prospects. I have met them cyberly, an interesting phenomena. I have spoken to a select few on the phone, but have yet to take the "plunge" and meet one or two in person. There are a few prospects, so we shall see.
There have been several things that have struck me during this process, and I am willing to share them with you now:
1. If you are contacted by someone who is "really" a friend of the "real" person on the site odds are they are as "real" as Santa Claus. And if they ask for your email or phone to sent a message, remember that you are on a secure site for a reason, and get rid of them. Sometimes you can amuse yourself at their expense for awhile, but it is better to report them and block them from contacting you.
2. Distance is an issue. I have limited my contacts to folks in the Metro area. I am sure Huntsville, Alabama and Santa Clara, California are lovely places, but I am not going to spend my time in a long distance exchange of niceties. Just not my style.
3. If you admit that you are still married for whatever reason...and you can insert any mental distress or other illness here...and your spouse/partner is not responsive to you, don't expect me to be either, Buddy.
4. Give some thought to the photo you are placing on this site. First impressions are indeed lasting ones....'nuf said.
5. And talking of first impressions, the name that you decide to use tells more about you than you know. Some folks use initials and numbers. Other monikers give a fleeting reference to one's current or former profession. Others give a very clear message about what you are thinking or not thinking about. A cyber name like "Socraticsage" gives a nice glimpse into a thoughtful intellectual whereas "Hunglikebull" conjures up some disturbing visuals that are difficult to shake, or who would bother to respond to anyone whose "handle" is "IMPicky"?
So, there it is....you have to go into this with two things: a sure sense of self worth, and huge sense of humor...and the ability to take most everything with a grain or a full shaker of salt. More to follow.
