It is that time of year when students of all ages and levels of education are involved in a graduation ceremony of one sort or another. Back in time...mid 20th century America, there were only three possible graduation ceremonies one would be a participant in: Eighth Grade from elementary school, after 12th grade in High School and college. Nowadays there is a graduation ceremony for practically all things! Last year my granddaughter "graduated" from daycare; this year she had a "stepping up" ceremony from Pre-K to Kindergarten. Other friends have children and grandchildren graduating from Kindergarten , Fifth Grade (primary school), Eighth Grade (middle school) or Twelfth Grade ( high school)...several other colleagues have children graduating with either their Associate's (two years), Bachelor's ( four year) or Master's degrees. Some really smart folks that I know have, or will have their doctorates conferred this June...quite an accomplishment! Kudos to them!
So with all of these opportunities to celebrate academic accomplishments one would think that those who are attending these auspicious events would know how to behave....Sorry folks. This is just not so.
Over the course of my teaching career, I have probably been a participant at over forty-five graduation ceremonies. These included my own children's graduations from elementary, high school and college, and my own graduations. So I think I know how one SHOULD act at a graduation ceremony. But, I have to say, I have witnessed some pretty bizarre behaviors and some very poor fashion decisions at many of my recent graduation experiences.
Here's my random list of things NOT acceptable at graduations, a general kind of etiquette and dress code guide:
1. Halter tops or dresses are not a good choice for anyone under the age of six or over the age of forty.Thankfully, most graduating students wear robes now, so this fashion faux pas only occurs in the audience. Same goes for spandex.
2. Tee shirts, flip flops and cut offs are not a good choice to wear to your own graduation, but as above, most of us don't know it once you put on your gown. Folks attending should use "mirror" test. If it doesn't look good in the mirror, don't wear it.
3. Bringing over-sized balloon bouquets into a crowded auditorium is never a good idea, especially if you have them bobbing about your head. You will block the view for those behind you. Be considerate. Keep the balloons at home, or in the car until later.
4. Please do not whoop, holler or scream out your beloved graduates name as they step foot on the stage. This is embarrassing for most of them and takes the solemnity away from the ceremony. You also look foolish.
5. If your daughter is going to wear stilettos for the ceremony, have her practice walking in them before hand. I have seen several young ladies trip and fall on the stage due to their unease in heels.
Now, for things I really like about graduations:
1. Seeing the bright smiles of hopefulness on the faces of the graduates. Nothing can replace that, ever!
2. Knowing the genuine pride that teachers, administrators and other staff feel at these important ceremonies. They are an affirmation of why we go into the teaching profession.
3. Recognizing the accomplishments of our graduates. My favorite ones are awards for good citizenship, attendance and tenacity.
4. Sharing a wonderful family moment with the parents with whom I worked over the years.
5. Carrying on special traditions. My old school used to have a color guard each year with two teams: Eighth Graders on one and Seventh Graders on the other. The graduating team would march the colors in. At the end of the ceremony, they would hand the colors over to the Seventh grade team who marched the colors out. There was never a dry eye in the place when that happened.
So, go out an enjoy this graduation season: please be proud of the accomplishments of your graduate. Please also remember some common graduation etiquette will make you a welcomed guest at the ceremony.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Selfishness and Avarice
One of my newest hobbies, or obsessions, depending on how you look at it, is watching daytime reality TV. Now, this not the stuff of "The Bachelorette", America's Got Talent" or even "The Jersey Shore", it is much more low key and low budget.
Some of it, like my all time fave,"American Pickers", is part treasure hunt, travelogue and good old bartering contests rolled into one. At first, I was appalled that Frank and Mike would scour the remnants of peoples' life long obsessions collecting what they refer to as "rusty gold" and then refurbishing, repurposing and reselling the resultant items at one of their two retail stores. Then I came to the realization that many of the items they salvaged would become "dust" and rot away if they did not buy them, and some of the owners needed the cash to make themselves or family members more comfortable. Plus, these two guys have a staff to pay and expenses to cover. They are, after all, making a living with this. And, what I like about them most, is that they can laugh at themselves and genuinely seem to care about each other and the folks who work for them.
Which can't be said for the other "reality stars" of two other shows I have recently followed, both of which are connected to buying and selling real estate. Two years ago I sold my home of twenty-five years and moved into a new condominium. My present home is the sixth one I have lived in, and the fourth one of my adult life. I looked at twenty-three apartments, both condos and coops. My laundry list was not too long: at least two bedrooms, two full baths, off the street parking, washer-drier in the unit, and a water view. I understood that I could spend less cash up front and get something that I could make my own with renovations, or spend more to get one already up to my specs. I chose the later route. I looked at some real wrecks with darn good bones; others were painted or paneled in colors and textures not to my taste; still others were clear reflections of the present owners vision, and not necessarily mine. The one thing I always did was to thank the owner for allowing me to look and discuss any concerns out of earshot in a respectful manner. Not so with the potential buyers on the "House Hunters" franchise. These buyers whine and complain if the property they are viewing is not to their taste or "personal vision" of what they can unrealistically afford.
The new bride who complains bitterly that the 1920 Arts and Craft bungalow she is viewing does not have granite countertops, stainless steel appliances or a room-sized walk-in storage space for her 150 pairs of designer shoes just does not get any sympathy from me. And when she turns to her new husband and says," And where do you think you are putting your stuff?", and he stares at her with open-mouth surprise, I cringe as I see a sudden flash of ,"O Lord, what did I get myself into here" on his face. In my view, her little temper tantrum and bad mouthing about someone else's taste and current space is downright selfishness. And this is a trait I see throughout our society. Many in modern America are quite focused on themselves and their image. They only care about what directly affects their small world. How did we reach this place of self-centeredness?
One agent is desperately trying to convince his spouse that it is time to start a family. His high powered personality and "deal making" skills have not convinced his better-half" (and, by the way, the spouse is the better half of this pair) that the time to do this is now. His spouse, who has a career, can see what the rest of us can: this wish will result in the supporting spouse being the primary care-giver, and the agent will be using any off-spring (although he seems fixated on a daughter) as a well-earned extension of himself to be displayed when necessary.
Another broker has begun to question the toll his choice of profession has taken on his personal life. In an interesting way, he reminds me of a character seeking a way out of a Faustian bargain. He is currently in a relationship and is on the brink of making a commitment to marrying his girlfriend. She seems to be the anchor he needs, but will she be able to be that for the long haul? I certainly hope so. I can see redemption in this relationship, but only if he understands that a marriage is not just a merging of assets, but a commitment to journey with each other and give "all" to the other.
The final agent is a young man from "the other side of the tracks" who is the most hard working and most simpatico of the lot. He is a "hustler" in the best sense of the word; smart and scrappy, he is determined to make it big in the business. He is like a sponge and a quiet observer who watches what others do, emulates the good and avoids the bad vibes that others throw off. And he is the most likable. At this point he realizes that he is so focused on his career that he is missing out on the important things in life. His family is an important part of his life, and this may be the saving grace for him, and we can see on his face that the realization of his situation is troubling to his very soul.
So is there something to be learned from this all? I think so. Life is too precious to waste on unhappiness. Creature comforts are important, but marble-fitted bathrooms, high-end finishes, high-powered real estate deals and stainless steel anything are not perquisites for personal happiness or fulfillment. People need people to care and love them, and, conversely, need to share love and concern with others. And not just those in our small inner circle; you need to spread it around so it comes back around.
Some of it, like my all time fave,"American Pickers", is part treasure hunt, travelogue and good old bartering contests rolled into one. At first, I was appalled that Frank and Mike would scour the remnants of peoples' life long obsessions collecting what they refer to as "rusty gold" and then refurbishing, repurposing and reselling the resultant items at one of their two retail stores. Then I came to the realization that many of the items they salvaged would become "dust" and rot away if they did not buy them, and some of the owners needed the cash to make themselves or family members more comfortable. Plus, these two guys have a staff to pay and expenses to cover. They are, after all, making a living with this. And, what I like about them most, is that they can laugh at themselves and genuinely seem to care about each other and the folks who work for them.
Which can't be said for the other "reality stars" of two other shows I have recently followed, both of which are connected to buying and selling real estate. Two years ago I sold my home of twenty-five years and moved into a new condominium. My present home is the sixth one I have lived in, and the fourth one of my adult life. I looked at twenty-three apartments, both condos and coops. My laundry list was not too long: at least two bedrooms, two full baths, off the street parking, washer-drier in the unit, and a water view. I understood that I could spend less cash up front and get something that I could make my own with renovations, or spend more to get one already up to my specs. I chose the later route. I looked at some real wrecks with darn good bones; others were painted or paneled in colors and textures not to my taste; still others were clear reflections of the present owners vision, and not necessarily mine. The one thing I always did was to thank the owner for allowing me to look and discuss any concerns out of earshot in a respectful manner. Not so with the potential buyers on the "House Hunters" franchise. These buyers whine and complain if the property they are viewing is not to their taste or "personal vision" of what they can unrealistically afford. The new bride who complains bitterly that the 1920 Arts and Craft bungalow she is viewing does not have granite countertops, stainless steel appliances or a room-sized walk-in storage space for her 150 pairs of designer shoes just does not get any sympathy from me. And when she turns to her new husband and says," And where do you think you are putting your stuff?", and he stares at her with open-mouth surprise, I cringe as I see a sudden flash of ,"O Lord, what did I get myself into here" on his face. In my view, her little temper tantrum and bad mouthing about someone else's taste and current space is downright selfishness. And this is a trait I see throughout our society. Many in modern America are quite focused on themselves and their image. They only care about what directly affects their small world. How did we reach this place of self-centeredness?
And avarice? How did we get there and happily celebrate it? I have become fascinated by the "Million Dollar Listing" franchise. This is an interesting show that follows a trio of realtors in three major US markets: Los Angeles, Miami and New York. I follow the New York Crew, although the LA group is interesting in their own right. The three brokers from New York have pushed avarice, which can be defined as extreme greed for wealth or material gain, to new heights. Negotiating 6 million dollar deals that net close to $190,000 commissions; producing a $5,000 video to market a 23 million dollar property, assisting clients in purchasing a million dollar plus vacation home in Puerto Rico, staging a successful Open House in Brooklyn to Manhattan-centric buyers who think a twenty minute commute by "R" train to work is insurmountable inconvenience takes "chutzpah" and cunning. But at what price?
One agent is desperately trying to convince his spouse that it is time to start a family. His high powered personality and "deal making" skills have not convinced his better-half" (and, by the way, the spouse is the better half of this pair) that the time to do this is now. His spouse, who has a career, can see what the rest of us can: this wish will result in the supporting spouse being the primary care-giver, and the agent will be using any off-spring (although he seems fixated on a daughter) as a well-earned extension of himself to be displayed when necessary.Another broker has begun to question the toll his choice of profession has taken on his personal life. In an interesting way, he reminds me of a character seeking a way out of a Faustian bargain. He is currently in a relationship and is on the brink of making a commitment to marrying his girlfriend. She seems to be the anchor he needs, but will she be able to be that for the long haul? I certainly hope so. I can see redemption in this relationship, but only if he understands that a marriage is not just a merging of assets, but a commitment to journey with each other and give "all" to the other.
The final agent is a young man from "the other side of the tracks" who is the most hard working and most simpatico of the lot. He is a "hustler" in the best sense of the word; smart and scrappy, he is determined to make it big in the business. He is like a sponge and a quiet observer who watches what others do, emulates the good and avoids the bad vibes that others throw off. And he is the most likable. At this point he realizes that he is so focused on his career that he is missing out on the important things in life. His family is an important part of his life, and this may be the saving grace for him, and we can see on his face that the realization of his situation is troubling to his very soul.
So is there something to be learned from this all? I think so. Life is too precious to waste on unhappiness. Creature comforts are important, but marble-fitted bathrooms, high-end finishes, high-powered real estate deals and stainless steel anything are not perquisites for personal happiness or fulfillment. People need people to care and love them, and, conversely, need to share love and concern with others. And not just those in our small inner circle; you need to spread it around so it comes back around.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Random musings
Sometimes I think American society is going to hell in a hand-basket. There is just so much stuff that just makes no sense in our current state of affairs that I sometimes feel I am losing it. Here are just a few random observations and thoughts about things swirling around here abouts:
1. Is there anything this President can do that someone, somewhere will not criticize him for? I honestly believe he could be sitting on the front steps of the White House taking a breather, and a cadre of folks from somewhere will start criticizing him for being a lazy bum or selling the free world down the river. He is the President of the United States, elected according to our electoral system. It is done; it is over. But he just can't seem to do anything right in the opinion of many. This guy can't even be indignant, as he was today about the rise of school violence, without someone jumping all over him for voicing an opinion. In the past eighteen months there have been 74 incidents of gun violence in schools. This is a disgrace. I will grant you, there are other big ticket issues that need to be addressed here, but really?? Children are not safe at school. Who can disagree about this troubling situation?
2. There are far too many news programs, stations and outlets with far too many "newscasters" who are actually giving their opinions about everything from the tax and banking systems to the color of J-Lo's latest designer gown. And unfortunately since most do not seem to have an adequate understanding of either economics or fashion design, many of their professional statements do not make any sense. And even though I will agree that the average American woman is closer to a size 12 than a size 4, (an astonishing statistic shared on a national news show this morning) asking your colleague on the air what size she wears is just plain asking for trouble, as well as being unprofessional.
3. A movie opening is not news....I repeat: a movie opening is not news. I do enjoy reading movie and play reviews, especially in the New York Times when said production is a disappointment, but the over reporting of movie openings is just a time waster. Bedsides that, there are really not many films of quality being shown. And while I am at it, films are made from a distinct point of view, as are novels, and one needs to be aware of that. Oliver Stone is a film maker not an historian.
4. History is told from the standpoint of the winners, and most historic events have been retold and revised by many for their own purposes. Just as movies and novels are told from the point of view of the author, so history is viewed through the lens of the researcher/writer. History can be manipulated, and has been.
5. The word "hero" is overused. I pledge to avoid its use in everyday speech and will only use it when absolutely necessary.
Now I feel better, but know I have probably offended someone out there....sorry.
1. Is there anything this President can do that someone, somewhere will not criticize him for? I honestly believe he could be sitting on the front steps of the White House taking a breather, and a cadre of folks from somewhere will start criticizing him for being a lazy bum or selling the free world down the river. He is the President of the United States, elected according to our electoral system. It is done; it is over. But he just can't seem to do anything right in the opinion of many. This guy can't even be indignant, as he was today about the rise of school violence, without someone jumping all over him for voicing an opinion. In the past eighteen months there have been 74 incidents of gun violence in schools. This is a disgrace. I will grant you, there are other big ticket issues that need to be addressed here, but really?? Children are not safe at school. Who can disagree about this troubling situation?
2. There are far too many news programs, stations and outlets with far too many "newscasters" who are actually giving their opinions about everything from the tax and banking systems to the color of J-Lo's latest designer gown. And unfortunately since most do not seem to have an adequate understanding of either economics or fashion design, many of their professional statements do not make any sense. And even though I will agree that the average American woman is closer to a size 12 than a size 4, (an astonishing statistic shared on a national news show this morning) asking your colleague on the air what size she wears is just plain asking for trouble, as well as being unprofessional.
3. A movie opening is not news....I repeat: a movie opening is not news. I do enjoy reading movie and play reviews, especially in the New York Times when said production is a disappointment, but the over reporting of movie openings is just a time waster. Bedsides that, there are really not many films of quality being shown. And while I am at it, films are made from a distinct point of view, as are novels, and one needs to be aware of that. Oliver Stone is a film maker not an historian.
4. History is told from the standpoint of the winners, and most historic events have been retold and revised by many for their own purposes. Just as movies and novels are told from the point of view of the author, so history is viewed through the lens of the researcher/writer. History can be manipulated, and has been.
5. The word "hero" is overused. I pledge to avoid its use in everyday speech and will only use it when absolutely necessary.
Now I feel better, but know I have probably offended someone out there....sorry.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Things are looking up!
"Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking up toward heaven?"
- Acts 1:11
 |
| Johnny T |
As do many of you, I live in New York City, a place that is
more often than not, overrun with tourists.
And the summer season is soon upon us when as many of us as can escape
to quieter venues and our beloved town becomes overrun with what often appear
to us as aliens from a strange place.
They wear shorts and fanny packs, sunglasses and aromatic sun screen…many
of them underestimate the brutality that can be summer in the city; they carry
cameras and I-phones and are constantly looking up.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8a8it_the-lovin-spoonful-summer-in-the-ci_music
One of my adult children works in the downtown financial district and is oftimes heard complaining of the folks from out of town who randomly stop on Fulton or Wall Street pointing cameras and fingers up to the sky to admire and photograph for posterity a significant, at least to them, signpost they wish to forever remember. She, on the other hand, in the words of “Johnny T” (that eclectic NYC tourist guide of You-Tube fame), just wants them to “GET OUTTA THE WAY.”
http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Johnny+T+and+You+tube&FORM=VIRE1#view=detail&mid=F5C932D31936C0EE97A2F5C932D31936C0EE97A2http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8a8it_the-lovin-spoonful-summer-in-the-ci_music
One of my adult children works in the downtown financial district and is oftimes heard complaining of the folks from out of town who randomly stop on Fulton or Wall Street pointing cameras and fingers up to the sky to admire and photograph for posterity a significant, at least to them, signpost they wish to forever remember. She, on the other hand, in the words of “Johnny T” (that eclectic NYC tourist guide of You-Tube fame), just wants them to “GET OUTTA THE WAY.”
 |
| Interior Canterbury Cathedral |
But sometimes it is nice to look up, as when I recently
took a trans-Atlantic cruise to Europe and got to see some wonderful sunrises
and sunsets as I walked on the deck. Or
when we stopped in England, we took a side trip to Canterbury and its
magnificent cathedral viewing its spires as they rose above the city and
admiring the vaulted gothic ceiling with its slender criss-crossing ribs that give it
a look of intricately woven lace.
I often love to watch the moon rise over
Brooklyn from the balcony of my new condo in St. George. The way the moon rays just sort of glisten and
dapple on the moving water of the bay is a delight to the eye and a calming
influence upon any restless spirit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJRbw_bUnJs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJRbw_bUnJs
But, as with the apostles of long ago, it is also
important for us as members of the Church to stop looking up and start looking
out. And what can we see if we do
that? Perhaps different ways of being
church.
Well, if you look over in Brooklyn there are several
interesting ways that folks are dong “church”.
St Lydia’s is a Dinner Church in the Gowanus section of Brooklyn. It is a contemporary congregation with ties
to both the Evangelical Lutheran Church’s Metropolitan Synod and the Episcopal Diocese
of Long Island. They meet on Sunday and
Monday evenings for a shared 
Travel further along the BQE and you will stumble upon Bushwick
Abbey, another congregation supported by the Episcopal Diocese of Long Island located
in a bar on Wycoff Avenue meeting on Sundays at noon, they describe themselves
as:”… Christian community celebrating faith, art, and justice on the
L line in Brooklyn…” Their mission statement includes these words: “We
believe that the truth of the universe is love incarnate. Our response to that
love is to live lives of holy curiosity, generosity and creativity with grace
in gratitude.” Who could argue with that?
And
in our own Diocese there are three unhoused congregations in Manhattan under
the umbrella of Ecclessia/NY that met on Sunday afternoons in three locations
in Manhattan: Tompkins Square Park in the East Village, Madison Square Park in
23rd Street and Marcus Garvey Park in Harlem. Each of these caters
to a distinct homeless community providing a caring spiritual community that
offers a shared meal each week and much needed spiritual direction and
referrals to social agencies when appropriate. http://ecclesiany.org/
So
what does this all mean for us, for those of us in comfortably traditional
houses of worship? It gives us insight
into different ways different folks are embracing the saving grace of Christ;
the same grace that we know gives us both strength and comfort as we live our
lives. This is the same grace that is
working in different ways in different faith communities throughout His
wondrous Church. And it is wonderful to see.
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