Selfishness and Avarice

One of my newest hobbies, or obsessions, depending on how you look at it, is watching daytime reality TV.  Now, this not the stuff of "The Bachelorette",  America's Got Talent" or even "The Jersey Shore", it  is much more low key and low budget.

Some of it, like my all time fave,"American Pickers", is part treasure hunt, travelogue and good old bartering contests rolled into one.  At first, I was appalled that Frank and Mike would scour the remnants of peoples' life long obsessions collecting what they refer to as "rusty gold" and then refurbishing, repurposing and reselling the resultant items at one of their two retail stores.  Then I came to  the realization that many of the items they salvaged would become "dust" and rot away if they did not buy them, and some of the owners needed the cash to make themselves or family members  more comfortable. Plus, these two guys have a staff to  pay and expenses to cover.  They are, after all, making a living with this.  And, what I like about them most, is that they can laugh at themselves and genuinely seem to care about each other and the folks who work for them.

Which can't be said for the other "reality stars" of two other shows I have recently followed, both of which are connected to buying and selling real estate.  Two years ago I sold my home of twenty-five years and moved into a new condominium.  My present home is the sixth one I have lived in, and the fourth one of my adult life. I looked at twenty-three apartments, both condos and coops.  My laundry list was not too long: at least two bedrooms, two full baths, off the street parking, washer-drier in the unit, and a water view. I understood that I could spend less cash up front and get something that I could make my own with renovations, or spend more to get one already up to my specs.  I chose the later route. I looked at some real wrecks with darn good bones; others were painted or paneled in colors and textures not to my taste; still others were clear reflections of the present owners vision, and not necessarily mine.  The one thing I always did was to thank the owner for allowing me to look and discuss any concerns out of earshot in a respectful manner.  Not so with the potential buyers on the "House Hunters" franchise. These buyers whine and complain if the property they are viewing is not to their taste or "personal vision" of what they can unrealistically afford. 

The new bride who complains bitterly that the 1920 Arts and Craft bungalow she is viewing does not have granite countertops, stainless steel appliances or a room-sized walk-in storage space for her 150 pairs of designer shoes just does not get any sympathy from me.  And when she turns to her new husband and says," And where do you think you are putting your stuff?", and he stares at her with open-mouth surprise, I cringe as I see a sudden flash of ,"O Lord, what did I get myself into here" on his face. In my view, her little temper tantrum and bad mouthing about someone else's taste and current space is downright selfishness. And this is a trait I see throughout our society.  Many in modern America are quite focused on themselves and their image.  They only care about what directly affects their small world.  How did we reach this place of self-centeredness?

And avarice?  How did we get there and happily celebrate it? I have become fascinated by the "Million Dollar Listing" franchise. This is an interesting show that follows a trio of realtors in three major US markets: Los Angeles, Miami and New York. I follow the New York Crew, although the LA group is interesting in their own right.  The three brokers from New York have pushed avarice, which can be defined as extreme greed for wealth or material gain, to new heights. Negotiating 6 million dollar deals that net close to $190,000 commissions; producing a $5,000 video to market a 23 million dollar property, assisting clients in purchasing a million dollar plus vacation home in Puerto Rico, staging a successful Open House in Brooklyn to Manhattan-centric buyers who think a twenty minute commute by "R" train to work is insurmountable inconvenience takes "chutzpah" and cunning.   But at what price? 

One agent is desperately trying to convince his spouse that it is time to start a family.  His high powered personality and "deal making" skills have not convinced his better-half" (and, by the way, the spouse is the better half of this pair) that the time to do this is now.  His spouse, who has a career, can see what the rest of us can: this wish will result in the supporting spouse being the primary care-giver, and the agent will be using any off-spring (although he seems fixated on a daughter) as a well-earned extension of himself to be displayed when necessary.

Another broker has begun to question the toll his choice of profession has  taken on his personal life.  In an interesting way, he reminds me of a character seeking a way out of  a Faustian bargain. He is currently in a relationship and is on the brink of making a commitment to marrying his girlfriend.  She seems to be the anchor he needs, but will she be able to be that for the long  haul?  I certainly hope so.  I can see redemption in this relationship, but only if he understands that a marriage is not just a merging of assets, but a commitment to journey with each other and give "all" to the other.


The final agent is a young man from "the other side of the tracks" who is the most hard working and most simpatico of the lot. He is a "hustler" in the best sense of the word; smart and scrappy, he is determined to make it big in the business.  He is like a sponge and a quiet observer who watches what others do, emulates the good and avoids the bad vibes that others throw off.  And he is the most likable.  At this point he realizes that he is so focused on his career that he is missing out on the important things in life.  His family is an important part of his life, and this may be the saving grace for him, and we can see on his face that the realization of his situation is troubling to his very soul.


So is there something to be learned from this all? I think so.  Life is too precious to waste on unhappiness.  Creature comforts are important, but marble-fitted bathrooms, high-end finishes, high-powered real estate deals and stainless steel anything are not perquisites for personal happiness or fulfillment.  People need people to care and love them, and, conversely, need to share love and concern with others.  And not just those in our small inner circle; you need to spread it around so it comes back around.