Things I have learned from reality T.V.

Honey Boo Boo

Over the past few years since my "official" retirement from the New York City Department of Education, I have sampled several"reality" shows on daytime television.  Some of them I found horrific, think "Honey Boo-Boo"...I viewed for half an hour and flipped the dial.  However, I did become mesmerized by "Gypsy Sisters", especially when they were discussing using motor oil as tanning lotion, but I soon snapped out of that.

Others were engaging for a time, "Keeping up with the Kardashians"...okay, I sneak a peak at that one at lest once a week...just keeping up. Still others have become a staple of my viewing history: "American Pickers" is an all-time favorite of mine as is  "Antiques Roadshow".  I like both the American and British versions and recently got to go to a taping of the American show in New York City.  I did not make the broadcast "cut", but got my vases/lamps appraised and a ring that belonged to my husband's grandfather. Lamps had been respectively a vase and a Chinese sculpture with a combined value of around $700, if they had NOT been made into lamps, double that figure.  So my first lesson learned from reality television is:

Jenners and Kardashians



 

1. Don't put holes in the bottom of vases and make lamps out of them. Your children and grandchildren will regret it if you do.

2.Always lower the toilet seat and shut the door when you are expecting company.  It is also nice to have individual soaps and nice towels out when guests come.  Thank you, Madison of "Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles".  This is one thing that drives him a bit bonkers at open houses, even when they are not his.  He shuts the lids, fluffs the towels and discretely closes the door to the WC.

3. If you are going to have plastic surgery, don't use Bruce Jenner's doctor...just don't.  Have you seen him lately? 'nough said. (see above)




4. If an Abbey-esque person opens up a dance studio near your home, do NOT send your child there.




5. Learn to make a good roux.  That mixture of butter, flour and milk is the basis for so many good dishes.  Use sweet butter and whole milk...no skim or 2% will do.




6. Always have onions, garlic and celery around...it is the basis for many wonderful stews and soups.




7. Buy some good quality boxed stock (vegetable, chicken or beef) and keep it in your pantry.




8. If it seems too good to be true...it is.

St Nicklaus and "Black Pete" Amsterdam

9. Do not depend on Kris Jenner for any intelligent discussion of American History.  Her recent attempt to intelligently describe the rise of "black face" in late 18th century American Society was incorrect...you would be better off checking with the social historians about that unfortunate piece of Americana. During a recent trip to Vienna she was scandalized by the Viennese and their remarks that sounded racist to her.  She is correct to be outraged, but should have done her homework.  I myself have been shocked by remarks and traditions I witnessed in Central Europe that as an American I found to be racist, but I  learned about them beforehand and was able to respond accordingly.

10.  In the end, many of the young real estate tycoons finally realize that the most important aspect of their lives is not the "next deal", but the love and support they receive from family and spouses who keep them grounded and centered...an important lesson and a valuable one.

Race in America

Over this weekend there was a  rather significant demonstration in my neighborhood related to the issue of race in America. Race is, and has been for many years, the elephant in the living room in America. Ever since the arrival of Dutch traders in Virginia in 1609 with a cargo of African labor, race has been a polarizing divide in this country. In doing research on my Mother's family, the Conklings who settled in Colonial Massachusetts in 1535, I came across a bill of sale for a five year old slave girl named Phoebe.  She was sold to the Livingston family on Long Island for the goodly sum of 50 pounds sterling. The Conklings were glassmakers and later amassed land around the area of Southold on the North Fork of Long Island.  There are ample records that show many of them left slaves to their heirs in probated wills on record in New York prior to and post Revolution. The family was able to survive and prosper with the help of enslaved labor.


Slavery was not solely a Southern-based institution.There is ample historical proof that least 20% the population of New York City in pre-Revolutionary War time was made up of people held in involuntary servitude.  Unlike European indenture servants, who after an agreed upon time of service were free to pursue their own fortunes, slaves  were held in bondage for a lifetime.  And unlike Europeans who, once able to master the  language of commerce and trade, could easily "pass" into the dominant society relatively easily.  They "looked" right.  African slaves, due to the color of their skin, did not share that advantage.


Neither is segregation a thing of the past or only a problem in the Southern part of our nation.  As of today the three most segregated cities in the United States are Detroit, Milwaukee and my own hometown, New York City. The public schools in New York City are the most segregated in the nation. I certainly can attest to that.  In my 22 year career with the NYC DOE, I saw that segregation up close and personal.  My first week in the classroom in a public school, I asked why there were only three children of color in my top honors class, and 20 students of color in my academically challenged group.  I was told that is how the numbers fell.  I had come from a Lutheran school were my classes were evenly split racially and all were expected to achieve to the best of their ability and beyond. This attitude of blind acceptance on the part of the staff at my new school appalled me, but any attempt to buck the system was met with great resistance.  They would go by the numbers, and that was about it.


  So for many students of color it was a crap shoot, it depended on the attitude of those in charge of placement and balancing the size of the class as to where you wound up. And out of a staff of over 70, I can recall only 9 colleagues and one administrator who were African American in a school where 40% of the students were either African American or Hispanic.


This "crap shoot" mentality came back to haunt me this weekend, and not due to the demonstration and march led by the Rev'd Al Sharpton that began up the block from my apartment.  It was two articles in the local paper each one about a former student, one on Saturday and the other on Sunday.


These two young African American men were in the school around the same time. They were in the mid to low academic track...that is when we tracked students by perceived "ability" as reflected in standardized tests and teacher recommendation. They both had reputations for being "difficult" students.  They both lived in low income city housing projects with single mothers  who were discovering that their sons were becoming a "handful"...ie: growing quickly into adulthood. I think they might have shared the same circle of friends and shared in some misadventures.  But their paths must have diverged somewhere, and their lives took different courses.  One was recently sentenced to life in prison for his involvement in a gang related murder. The other just completed a supported artist-in-residency program at a local cultural center, and his work will be featured on display and for sale in a local gallery.


So, how does this happen?  One to be incarcerated for the rest of his young life, and the other on his way to a career as a noted graphic artist?  Is it just that "crap shoot" that worked out for one, but not the other?  Is there a lesson to be learned here? I think there is: Those of us who do have an unspoken advantaged purely due to circumstances of genetics need to be aware that "white privilege" does indeed exist, and has existed in this country even before its inception.  We all need to consciously work towards a better society where all of our children can have the opportunity to succeed creatively and positively.

Summertime...and the eating is easy.

What do I like most about summer?  I love the beautiful summer sun rises and sunsets that I get to view from my apartment.  I love that I can walk so short a distance and relax at Lyons Pool in Tompkinsville. And I love the plethora of flowering plants that assail the senses of sight and scent as we pass by them.  But the things I love most about summer is the ability to enjoy so many fresh fruits and vegetables in this season of plenteousness.

Melons, peaches, plums, nectarines, blackberries, tomatoes, peppers and various squashes are all  much more flavorful in summertime. Many of you have wonderful home gardens .  Connie Black and Shelia Hewitt  lovingly tend our own community gardens here at Christ Church.

But sometimes the home harvest can be overwhelming.  A family member recently begged me to take home some more summer squash as the family’s garden was in overtime production.  I took two…how much squash can one person be expected to eat in a week?  I know how difficult it can be to give away that green zucchini in August when the whole neighborhood is awash in squash, but there is a solution.

Are you willing to share your bounty with local families who are food insecure?  There are plenty of folks waiting on lines at food pantries across this island who would jump at the chance to get their hands on some fresh tomatoes, peppers, and even the ubiquitous zucchini to stretch their food budgets and offer healthy alternatives to their families.  You may not be aware, but here in New Brighton, we are in a food desert.  Not too many healthy choices in food selection can be made year round.

Our community garden here at Christ Church provides fresh produce for our Second Saturday program and sends excess to Richmond Senior Services for their choice food pantry.  And you can also get involved.

You can donate your bumper crops to a local food pantry or soup kitchen.  For folks who are dependent on Federal Food Stamps, the price of good produce can be prohibitive, but excess crops from home gardeners can be a great way to enjoy locally grown fresh foods.

So, if you can...give your extra tomatoes, peppers, eggplant and zucchini to some local folks who will really appreciate it, and not hide in the kitchen when you ring the front door with a basket full of your recent bumper crop.

And if you can include an easy recipe on how to use said fruit/veg....include it!  It will be much appreciated!

Bah! Humbug!

When did mainstream America become so mean-spirited?  A casual glance on local and national news outlets and following stories on social media has revealed a society that makes Ebenezer Scrooge look like a mere cream puff.


A recent poll on Huffington Post revealed that 56% of those polled were in favor of sending Central American refugee children home...no questions asked...just throw the  rabble out! About 40% of the same population were in favor of letting them remain until each got a hearing( called "due process"),and then throw them out, if the judge says so.


And as for "due process", people who are definitely NOT in the know are running their mouths about "teacher tenure"...which, for those who are outraged that educators have a job "for life",  means teachers are entitled to "due process" when it comes to arbitrary dismissal.  It was started as a response to chronic and systemic nepotism that was the pervasive way of doing business in school districts across the country in the 40's and 50's when the profession was top-heavy with women. A tenured teacher could not be dismissed for political or subjective reasons by her usually male superior who might want to give the position to a political crony's relative or to just a younger, and thus lesser salaried, person.  Don't kid yourselves, these things did and sometimes still do happen.  No teacher wants to protect an incompetent teacher or a teacher who is hurting students emotionally or physically.  They are a pox on the profession, and need to move on.  And, full disclosure here, I was a tenured teacher.


And it seems to me that more people than is logically possible claim to be spokesmen for various groups wrapping themselves in the mantel of justice...and this knife cuts both ways.


A recent horrific death occurred quite near my home.  A man, who the police have said was engaged in illegal activity of a minor nature, died in police custody under circumstances that are under investigation. He was selling loose cigarettes at a local park that is frequented by junkies.  The park, diagonally across the street from my home, is a respite of green criss-crossed with paths and benches and a fountain that no parent would let a child enter, nor would any local resident seeking a cool spot to sit and rest ever think of stopping there.


The community has been complaining for a long time that this place needed to be cleaned up, so the local precinct was sweeping by more often with this tragic result. There have been local demonstrations supporting both the police action and the grieving family the deceased left behind. A nationally-known, locally-based Civil Rights leader has taken up this tragedy as a personal quest and had announced a massive march and demonstration two weeks from this Saturday that would, in effect, close down the major artery than links this island with the rest of New York City: the Verrazano Narrows Bridge.  He has announced that he has "earned" the right to criticize the Police Department.


This event has the potential of virtually grid locking this island, and backing up traffic to the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Our local politicians are outraged; the local populace is asking the mayor to intervene; the police commissioner says the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, not the mayor, has to approve closing the bridge.  The Metropolitan Transportation Authority says all the mayor has to do is ask them, and they would comply with the city's wishes. No one is happy; everyone is blaming everyone else, and it seems that there is no room for compromise.


What has happened to civil discourse?  Why is everything a "line in the sand" event?  Where are the cooler heads?  As a nation perhaps we need to take a step, or two, back and look at ourselves. This is not how mature adults act within the context of democracy...I could be wrong, but I doubt it.  We need to begin to think about how our actions impact "the other".


A recent guest on a local NPR radio show was taking about how Americans are isolated into circles of people with whom they feel comfortable.  Many of us don't even know our neighbors, and others have no interaction with people from different ethnic and economic groups.  This had led, according to the commentator, to an alienated society in which we box ourselves into smaller and smaller social units.  We need to begin conversations across these units if we are to survive as a society.