Things I have learned from reality T.V.

Honey Boo Boo

Over the past few years since my "official" retirement from the New York City Department of Education, I have sampled several"reality" shows on daytime television.  Some of them I found horrific, think "Honey Boo-Boo"...I viewed for half an hour and flipped the dial.  However, I did become mesmerized by "Gypsy Sisters", especially when they were discussing using motor oil as tanning lotion, but I soon snapped out of that.

Others were engaging for a time, "Keeping up with the Kardashians"...okay, I sneak a peak at that one at lest once a week...just keeping up. Still others have become a staple of my viewing history: "American Pickers" is an all-time favorite of mine as is  "Antiques Roadshow".  I like both the American and British versions and recently got to go to a taping of the American show in New York City.  I did not make the broadcast "cut", but got my vases/lamps appraised and a ring that belonged to my husband's grandfather. Lamps had been respectively a vase and a Chinese sculpture with a combined value of around $700, if they had NOT been made into lamps, double that figure.  So my first lesson learned from reality television is:

Jenners and Kardashians



 

1. Don't put holes in the bottom of vases and make lamps out of them. Your children and grandchildren will regret it if you do.

2.Always lower the toilet seat and shut the door when you are expecting company.  It is also nice to have individual soaps and nice towels out when guests come.  Thank you, Madison of "Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles".  This is one thing that drives him a bit bonkers at open houses, even when they are not his.  He shuts the lids, fluffs the towels and discretely closes the door to the WC.

3. If you are going to have plastic surgery, don't use Bruce Jenner's doctor...just don't.  Have you seen him lately? 'nough said. (see above)




4. If an Abbey-esque person opens up a dance studio near your home, do NOT send your child there.




5. Learn to make a good roux.  That mixture of butter, flour and milk is the basis for so many good dishes.  Use sweet butter and whole milk...no skim or 2% will do.




6. Always have onions, garlic and celery around...it is the basis for many wonderful stews and soups.




7. Buy some good quality boxed stock (vegetable, chicken or beef) and keep it in your pantry.




8. If it seems too good to be true...it is.

St Nicklaus and "Black Pete" Amsterdam

9. Do not depend on Kris Jenner for any intelligent discussion of American History.  Her recent attempt to intelligently describe the rise of "black face" in late 18th century American Society was incorrect...you would be better off checking with the social historians about that unfortunate piece of Americana. During a recent trip to Vienna she was scandalized by the Viennese and their remarks that sounded racist to her.  She is correct to be outraged, but should have done her homework.  I myself have been shocked by remarks and traditions I witnessed in Central Europe that as an American I found to be racist, but I  learned about them beforehand and was able to respond accordingly.

10.  In the end, many of the young real estate tycoons finally realize that the most important aspect of their lives is not the "next deal", but the love and support they receive from family and spouses who keep them grounded and centered...an important lesson and a valuable one.