On being single...again.

People often wonder what times of year or events do people like me, single again, not by choice, but by fate, find most difficult.  Some would say Christmas, but since I still have lots of family around, and many Church obligations during that time of year, I am kept quite busy.  The same holds true for Easter and Thanksgiving, family and faith obligations keep me hopping, and usually running from place to place.

But St. Valentine's Day is different; it is a day for pairs. A bit of a back story on St. Valentine is needed.  There are at least three martyrs with the same name.  The one commemorated on February 14th is Saint Valentine of Terni, third-century Roman saint and associated since the Middle Ages with  courtly love. Just to set the record straight, Valentine is not just the patron saint of love, he is also responsible for overseeing engaged couples, prevention of fainting, bee keepers,  roses,  happy marriages, plague, and, last but not least, epilepsy.  I don't know who assigns areas of patronage, but fainting, epilepsy and plague...that's a lot of responsibility without adding all that love stuff. And how random is the additional task of overseeing beekeepers?

St. Valentine

                                                                                                    
Anyway...Valentine's Day is not for the faint hearted single.  The world is awash in paired bliss.  On any other random Sunday, I might call  married friends inquiring if they wanted to attend an event or grab a lunch or early dinner at some local eatery, but not on the 14th of February.  First of all, you cannot just surreptitiously walk into any restaurant on this island or in this city without having a reservation on that particular day.  And don't expect the normal menu...most places have a special "Dinner for Two" list set up for that day which is different than the normal one. Most of the tables are set for two, so an odd number, like one, is just out of the question. And you really don't want to be the solo act on this day; since your presence will only serve to remind everyone in the restaurant of the fact that a friend shared with me when my husband died " All marriages and relationships end... by divorce, disagreement or death." And if you are someone who is single by choice or chance, why put yourself through the personal angst, just order that pizza or the Chinese food for delivery and be done with it.

The one big thing that really gets under my skin about being single is the dreaded "single supplement" that travel companies impose on solo-travelers. It's like adding insult to injury.  "So you want to continue to travel?  Yippee! We'll take your money, but you don't have someone to share your quarters with?  Okay, you can still come, but you have to pony up an additional fee to do so." That  "Single Supplement"can be anywhere from $300 to $2000 depending on the trip. Some travel companies will pair you up with another single, but that does not appeal to me. I like my space, and at this age, I do not want to have to accommodate a stranger in that space.  These travel companies don't suggest that  partnered people double up with others, so, why do they think I am eager to do so? I don't mind sharing with someone I know, but that is not always possible.

I have begun to seek out travel opportunities where these fees are non-existent or low, and am happy to say I have found two cruise lines that have limited single cabins and a two travel companies that do not charge single supplements on some of their trips. The other alternative is to put together a solo itinerary on one's own, which I have done in the past, and will probably do again. I think the travel industry is really missing out on a huge market by its restrictive policies.

And as for next St Valentine's Day?  Maybe I will spearhead a campaign to start a special event for singles only...no supplement involved.