The holidays are here! Oh ,NO!

November begins the wild and crazy holiday season in these parts. In my case, it begins on November 10th, the birthday of my second child and segues through my daughter-in-law's thirtieth birthday, the anniversary of my husband's death, what would have been my 43rd wedding anniversary, Advent, Holly Ball, TLC Christmas party, Wagner College Choir Concert, Gay  Men's Chorus Concert,  Christmas Pageant, Radio City and Rockettes, Christmas Eve lunch at Soup Kitchen, then dual Christmas Eve services with steel drummers, children's choir, and ukulele group ( yes, kids and ukes) ,Christmas Day somewhere, eldest child's fortieth birthday on Christmas, two other cousins with birthdays on that say, then Boxing Day, New Year's Eve and Day and finally, Twelfth Night/ Epiphany/Three Kings Day. I think that is the complete list, but you also need to add  Physical Therapy twice a week, gym five days a week, filing papers for the final discretionary funds and reviewing grant opportunities for the upcoming year. And I am in what some call "retirement".

Someone recently emailed asking if I could give them a December date for a phone conference.  I replied, "NO", and I mean it emphatically. For those of us who are ordained folk in any church, this time of year is second only to Easter week.  That, of course, is a the major feast in the Christian tradition, but popular culture has caused this time of year to stretch both religious and secular society to its farthest limits. Too many gifts to wrap, too many invitations to respond to, too many holiday traps to skirt around, too many people to attend to, visit, placate and disappoint in the few short weeks of this manic season, these demands on time and talent can bring each one of us to our own personal breaking point.

And then there are those for whom this time of year brings back bad memories and despair. Folks whose childhood memories of the holidays bring with them personal nightmares that were more real than any of us can fathom. There are others who have lost so many loved ones that they are often the only ones left of their immediate and often extended families. For these folks this is a most difficult time of year.

So, as a community of spiritual support what do we do? And as an individual, what can you do?  I am not quite sure.  I think we, as individuals, need to take time out of every day to sit in some sort of silence and mediate on these things in our hearts. Oh, I could say invite someone who you know is alone to your celebrations; buy or provide gifts for the homeless or those in need, but many of these things are done to "give back" ( don't get me started on that phrase) or to make the giver feel good. This is what those of us in the religious/social service sector call "Toxic Charity".

Last week at the Soup Kitchen where we normally have about 15 volunteers cook and serve lunch we had 35 people show up to prepare and serve lunch. Next week we'll be back to our regular number. These "holiday helpers" come with their own expectations about how they are interacting with those they perceive as the "deserving poor". They often unintentionally "muck up the works" with knee-jerk reactions to our cadre of regular guests who have been known to basically "play them" to game the system. I have had holiday volunteers give money and metro cards to guests; wrap up extra food and dole it out to people they have just met and who have given them a very sad story, and in extreme cases, have had newbies give out their phone numbers to folks they have just met in case they needed any thing else.

Every week we deal with whomever the Lord sends us to feed, no questions asked. What does that mean to those who come once or twice a year to help out? I am not sure; do they even think about the needs of others the rest of the year? This is something I struggle with mightily during this time of year. Prayer helps, but the doubts still rise. February can't come fast enough for me.

Election Blues

Well, boys and girls, it is finally over, finished , done, in the can, one for the books, baked in the cake. And we move on as a nation. I know, I know some of us...many of us, are frustrated at what some may consider the archaic electoral college system that decides how we elect our nation's leader.
It is an indirect system that attempts to give all of our states equal footing when deciding who gets to hold the highest office in the land.  We vote for designated electors who in turn, vote for President.
This was designed to allow those states with smaller populations to have similar political clout as those that have a higher population...a reflection of the old "states rights" feelings of our Founding Fathers...take note of   phrase..."Founding Fathers".

Our country was divided before the election, and to some extent, it remains so at this point.  One candidate received more of the popular vote, but did not receive the needed number of electoral votes to win.  The other won the required number of electoral votes, but lagged behind in the popular vote tally.  The President-elect will take office knowing the majority of the people in his country did not support his candidacy, not an enviable position to be in.

This is only one of a handful of times this has happened.  And this has happened twice in my lifetime.
Many Americans are calling for an end to the electoral college system, but for me that is a discussion and a battle for another day.

Now, I may be saying something here that some may not agree with.  That usually has not stopped me in the past, and I am reluctant to paint any other American citizen as a less stellar person. So, here goes...and I am treading lightly:

This election has exposed a dark underbelly of racism and misogyny that many of us had hoped was out-of-date.  Please do not think I am saying all those who voted for the President-elect are all racists and misogynists; they are not. Many hold respected conservative views and values that are important to the fabric of this nation: hard work, persistence, and a deep love of family and nation...these values are also held by many people who voted for the losing candidate as well. But, as I have said in the past, some boys just don't want any girl to win.

I had hoped I would be able in my lifetime to vote for and elect a woman President, and I did one of those two things. I hope that on today, my daughter's 38th birthday, she and her sister and niece will be able to do both within their lifetimes.