Saving Face

July 15, 2018

As the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal daughter of Saul looked out of the window, and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart.

When his daughter Herodias came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his guests; and the king said to the girl, “Ask me for whatever you wish, and I will give it.” And he solemnly swore to her, “Whatever you ask me, I will give you, even half of my kingdom.” She went out and said to her mother, “What should I ask for?” She replied, “The head of John the baptizer.” Immediately she rushed back to the king and requested, “I want you to give me at once the head of John the Baptist on a platter.” The king was deeply grieved; yet out of regard for his oaths and for the guests, he did not want to refuse her.

Saving face, the practice of affording someone an opportunity to avoid embarrassment, humiliation, or shame, is a subtle sub-text in two recent old and new testament readings. In 2 Samuel we have an image of King David gleefully and ebulliently dancing before the ark of the Covenant as it is carried into the holy city of Jerusalem.  It appears he is scantily attired and his wife, Michal, herself the daughter of an Israelite King, Saul, is mortified that her husband is flaunting his joy in front of all the residents of the city, in particular the other women.  His actions, in her estimation, are unkingly.  Please note, she defied her father in marrying David and pledged her loyalty to him over her father.  She had burnt her bridges and hitched her wagon to David's rising star. And David, for his part, became angry at his wife. He struck out at her because he could, later actually banishing her from his court. She never bore him any children. He held her in contempt for the rest of her life; he moved on to other women.  You might remember King David's obsession with Bathsheba. 

Mikael felt David's actions were causing him and by extension, her to lose face among the common people.  He, lashed out at her, to save face for himself in an action that reminds us of those in authority who want to make sure the underlings know who is boss. I bet all of us here have witnessed someone we have encountered in our work, professional or even church life, who used her/his position in such a way that allows them to avoid personal confrontation, shame or humiliation while demeaning another.  It is not pretty to witness; and it certainly is not the moral thing to do. David went on to become a great leader, ancestor of Our Lord, Jesus, and man of faith who struggled with his humanity at many levels. But his dismissive treatment of his first wife still rankles me. David overacts to the criticism of his wife...I actually think she had a point, but maybe went about expressing it too hastily; David's reaction was swift and done to make everyone aware of who was the power broker in this royal relationship. He might have cut off his nose despite his face.

In today's Gospel we have another King with a different situation of saving face. Herod has John the Baptist in custody.  The King understands that he is not in a position to alienate the people under his jurisdiction who are followers of John.  He just wants John to be on ice, so to speak, because John is making noise about the fact that the King took his brother's wife as his own, in spite of Hebraic law that labels this kind of union as "incest" since his brother, although divorced from said wife, was still alive and kicking. When Herodias' daughter, otherwise known as Salome, pleases the king who was probably "in his cups" during a night of drinking and reveling, he announces to the gathered crowd that he would give the girl anything she wanted as a reward for her entertainment, she consulted with her mother who had her own agenda.  Herodias was tired of John and his pronouncements against her relationship with husband number 2 who was the brother of husband number 1. She saw a way to rid herself of this thorn in her side, so she encouraged her daughter to make a request of the King that he could not refuse because he made an unwise and foolish promise.  When he heard it, I am sure he regretted his words, but like so many others that we read of in the pages of both the Old and New testament, Herod was indeed between the preverbal rock and hard place.  He could not go back on his word...he had made a vow, and he had to go through with it, or he would look the fool in front of the entire royal court. He took the coward's way out and condemned a man to death to make good on a boasting promise. He let his ego get in the way of doing the right thing.

Is there something to learn from the experiences of these two Israelite Kings? There certainly is. Human pride and ego can often get in the way of our relationship with other humans, but more importantly, they can get in between our personal relationship with our God. Our very human desire to appear competent and in charge of our lives can often become a stumbling block to our more important relationship with our Creator. We may seek to save face and appear competent and in charge in front of the people with whom we live and work, but this very human 

tactic of self-defense and preservation can stand between an open and honest relationship with the God who loves us unconditionally and does not care if we make snap judgements and empty promises to others as long as we can be honest and stand before our God with integrity. That is what matters...not saving face, but waling in integrity. However, we can take solace in the fact that we are all in spiritual formation and on our own spiritual journey, and walking humbly with our God is an important piece of the journey.