Into the Woods

This past weekend I officiated at a wedding for a family member.  This professional couple in their thirties had each taken their time in choosing a mate.  The bride, a cousin of mine, had dated several men, a few of whom we all liked, but the one she married last week was definitely "a keeper".  And as many professional folks do when they finally decide to tie the knot, theirs was a "destination wedding".


"Destination weddings" have come into vogue in the past ten years. As is my wont, I have again consulted Wikipedia for a simple, and easy to understand definition of "destination wedding"; it points out; " Not to be confused with an elopement, a destination wedding is one in which a wedding is hosted, often in a vacation-like setting, at a location to which most of the invited guests must travel and often stay for several days. This could be a beach ceremony in the tropics, a lavish event in a metropolitan resort, or a simple ceremony at the home of a geographically distant friend or relative. During the recession of 2009, destination weddings continued to see growth compared to traditional weddings, as the typically smaller size results in lower costs."

The Clooney-Alamuddin wedding also happened this last weekend, and it was also a "destination wedding"...but one on steroids: three days of festivities in Venice of several parties, receptions and ceremonies.  Somehow, I don't thing this Clooney family feast was a low-cost affair; I suspect that once one tots up the amount of money spent by guests at the event on lodging, meals and transport, the cost of the wedding is quite high.       

We, on the other hand, did two days of cocktail parties and wedding ceremony and reception in lovely Roxbury, NY located in the middle of the Catskills and near by  ski country. The leaves were just at their first color turn, and the glowing reds and yellows mingled with the remaining green and the early morning mists gaving the place a surreal feel.

I stayed with three other family members in a rented weekend home tucked away, in the words of my cousin, "In the middle of frigging nowhere" over fifty miles from the New York Thruway which would bring us back to civilization once the festivities were over. The décor was...well, to put it nicely "rustic chic" with an homage to local fauna: bear skin rug, mounted antliers and deer skin stapled to a wall. 

A pre- wedding cocktail hour was in "downtown" Roxbury...an area about the size of two city blocks, at  local art gallery. 

The wedding was the next day at "Roxbury Barn" the reception in the bi-level barn, the cocktail hour in a pergola on the edge of a wood, and the ceremony within the woods itself. The majestic stand of trees surrounding the ceremony was kind of like a metaphor for marriage itself. Those of us who have ever entered into the state of matrimony can attest to the fact that it is like navigating through a dappled forest in which we discover and learn about oneself, one's partner and the fellow travelers along the way.
                                       

Oh, I also have a bit of advice for those attending an event that involves forest floors, gravel trails and old wooden barn planks: Do not wear four inch stiletto "do-me" shoes.  They impale leaves, get stuck in old barn floors and can cause an ankle to twist on a gravelly filled hillside path.  Just sayin'.
And oh, by the way: good luck to all the newlyweds: George Clooney included.

Fairness v. generosity

"...are you envious because I am generous?”

When I explained to my sister who lives in Connecticut, that I would be preaching this Sunday, she, being the well-adjusted middle child and the solidly anchored one, had a great idea for my sermon.  She knows and supports my addiction to reality television since she herself is a fan of “Dance Moms”. She sent me a link to a news item lamenting the fact that Mama June and Teddy Bear of “Honey Boo-Boo” fame are experiencing couple’s issues and are living separately while trying to “work things out”.  After milling that one over for about half a nano second, I rejected it as a part of this sermon, but I may just continue to monitor the situation on my own.  Instead I decided to think about the difference between “fairness” and “generosity”.

As some of you may know, I come from a tradition steeped in the labor movement in this city.  My father was a Teamster in the days of Jimmy Hoffa.  My uncle was a member of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers; my husband was a union official in the Communication Workers of America and not only am I a member of the United Federation of Teachers, I was the chapter leader at my school for ten years.

As a child I remember an aunt who used to remind us to hum the jingle used by the International Ladies Garment Workers Union that admonished everyone to “Look for the Union label”, when we shopped in local department stores for clothes.  I understood Fairness: fair wages, fair contracts, fair labor practices, fair work schedules. I knew “fair”, but perhaps not “generous”

A few weeks ago, I was privileged to accompany members of “Building Bridges” on a walking pilgrimage of our island and visited one of the most sacred labor sites in the City of New York.  In the Hebrew United Cemetery in Richmondtown , 22 victims of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire were laid to rest. The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire in Manhattan, New York City on March 25, 1911 was the deadliest industrial disaster in the history of the city, and one of the deadliest in U.S. history. The fire caused the deaths of 146 garment workers – 123 women and 23 men – who died from the fire, smoke inhalation, or falling or jumping to their deaths. Most of the victims were recent Jewish and Italian immigrant women aged sixteen to twenty-three; of the victims whose ages are known, the oldest victim was 43, and the youngest was 14 years old.

One result of this horrific event was the creation of a Committee on Public Safety headed by Frances Perkins, a noted social worker, Episcopal churchwoman and later first Secretary of Labor under Franklin Delano Roosevelt. This group was commissioned to identify specific problems and lobby for new legislation, such as the bill to grant workers shorter hours in a work week.

In her role as Secretary of Labor, a post she held from 1933 until 1945, Perkins led the way in reform for workers. Her work for labor led to  the passage of Social Security Act, unemployment benefits, pensions for the many elderly Americans, and welfare for the poorest Americans . She pushed to reduce workplace accidents and helped craft laws against child labor. Through the Fair Labor Standards Act, she established the first minimum wage and overtime laws for American workers, and defined the standard forty-hour work week.

Perkins came of age at a time when many in the Judeo-Christian communities of New York City were talking about a “theology of generosity”, as opposed to a theology of righteousness. The theology of righteousness held that people get what they deserve, that their wealth and status are signs of their relationship with God. Simply put good, hardworking people get what they deserve, and sinful, lazy people get what they deserve. The theology of generosity, on the other hand, states that all we have is a gift from a generous God. The particulars may be influenced by our own effort, but the foundation is the generosity of God who gives to all people without regard to our particular circumstances or merit. Frances knew fair, but she also knew “generous”.

And “generous” is a far more difficult concept to grasp than “fair”. Recently I learned that the Mennonite group that had been living at St Charles Seminary and quietly doing Sandy Recovery work were heading home after over two years of generous service to the affected population on Staten island.  I had the privilege of meeting a few of these folks who quietly and respectfully shared their skills with homeowners who needed basic construction help done in a very professional and efficient manner.  They did not call attention to themselves. They did not seek out publicity for their latest “event” or invent local “stunts” to keep their name on the lips of local media.  They did the work they were called to do in a forthright and generous manner…and it will be their generosity that will be remembered here.  A generosity that reflects the spirit of today’s Gospel: something they did because they could; not to call attention to themselves, but because it was God’s call to them.  Let us try to emulate their generosity of spirit.

 

In search of masterpieces...

One thing I have learned from my many travels is that every destination claims to have a plethora of masterpieces for the visitor to visit and savor. Some are artistic, some architectural.  Others are of a more religious nature, and still others are just plain quirky and definitely in the eye of the beholder.

As a child growing up in mid-century New York City, I was exposed to several pieces which were said to be "masterpieces" of one kind or another.  These were mostly European masterpieces sent on loan for special showings in museums or other exhibition sites. I remember seeing Michelangelo's "Pieta" at the 1964 World's Fair in Flushing Meadows.  This statue was displayed in almost total darkness, boxed in a bullet-proof case with a single spotlight illuminating the sorrowful face of the mother holding her dead son.  We stood on a moving electronic walkway similar to those found in airports, but much slower that took us past the sculpture.

Years later, I was able to see it "in situ" at St Peter's Basilica.  I was able to get up closer to actually see the carefully carved folds in the clothing and the fine carving of the arms and limbs of the dead Christos as he is held by his sorrowful mother.

I was also able to see his "Mona Liza" at the Metropolitan Museum of Art when I was in high school.  So when I finally saw it at the Louvre, I was not surprised by its diminutive size. The Met also exhibited "The Book of Kells" when I was at Hunter College...a hop skip and a jump away.  I later saw this in Dublin at Trinity College...before they began charging people to take a look.  All three of these masterpieces certainly look better in the context of their surroundings. 

On a recent Christmas markets trip, I got to see lots of castles and churches that local folks claimed were national masterpieces.  I think the most impressive was the Cathedral in Cologne, Germany. It was quite large with scaffolding surrounding it...It seems it takes several years to clean it, and once it's done, it has to be re-cleaned from the beginning again...so it is a never-ending process.  Its outer layer is dark and towering, but you have to get inside to see the things that make it a wonderful space.  Its stain glass windows construct a multi-colored glass screen on all sides.  The craftsmanship of the stonework is superb; the wood working is amazing. It is a place of solace in a bustling city.

And grand it was, even in the dead of winter.  It also helps that the Christmas Markets are next door and they sell hot Gluwein.

But quirky is also good when it comes to masterpieces. And art is truly in the eye of the beholder.  I know some folks who eschew modern and post modern art. And still others who think Warhol is "old hat", but  his work is considered to be masterpieces of post modern society. His work has influenced several generations of graphic artists as varied as local graffiti practitioners to ad men of Madison Avenue who adopted his clean lines and interesting use of primary colors in packaging of all things from bubble gum to cigarettes.

His most famous protégé, Jean-Michel Basquait, started life as a graffiti artist.  He led a short heroin addicted life, and is buried in Brooklyn's Green-Wood cemetery where his grave marker is regaled with notes of love, packs of cigarettes, red lip-stick kisses, and flowers.  His art is quirky and still highly sought after. 

Well, I guess "masterpieces" are rather fluid things whose value depends on how important their admirers feel they are.  And what I think is a "masterpiece" may not make your list.  Vive la difference.

Things I have learned from reality T.V.

Honey Boo Boo

Over the past few years since my "official" retirement from the New York City Department of Education, I have sampled several"reality" shows on daytime television.  Some of them I found horrific, think "Honey Boo-Boo"...I viewed for half an hour and flipped the dial.  However, I did become mesmerized by "Gypsy Sisters", especially when they were discussing using motor oil as tanning lotion, but I soon snapped out of that.

Others were engaging for a time, "Keeping up with the Kardashians"...okay, I sneak a peak at that one at lest once a week...just keeping up. Still others have become a staple of my viewing history: "American Pickers" is an all-time favorite of mine as is  "Antiques Roadshow".  I like both the American and British versions and recently got to go to a taping of the American show in New York City.  I did not make the broadcast "cut", but got my vases/lamps appraised and a ring that belonged to my husband's grandfather. Lamps had been respectively a vase and a Chinese sculpture with a combined value of around $700, if they had NOT been made into lamps, double that figure.  So my first lesson learned from reality television is:

Jenners and Kardashians



 

1. Don't put holes in the bottom of vases and make lamps out of them. Your children and grandchildren will regret it if you do.

2.Always lower the toilet seat and shut the door when you are expecting company.  It is also nice to have individual soaps and nice towels out when guests come.  Thank you, Madison of "Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles".  This is one thing that drives him a bit bonkers at open houses, even when they are not his.  He shuts the lids, fluffs the towels and discretely closes the door to the WC.

3. If you are going to have plastic surgery, don't use Bruce Jenner's doctor...just don't.  Have you seen him lately? 'nough said. (see above)




4. If an Abbey-esque person opens up a dance studio near your home, do NOT send your child there.




5. Learn to make a good roux.  That mixture of butter, flour and milk is the basis for so many good dishes.  Use sweet butter and whole milk...no skim or 2% will do.




6. Always have onions, garlic and celery around...it is the basis for many wonderful stews and soups.




7. Buy some good quality boxed stock (vegetable, chicken or beef) and keep it in your pantry.




8. If it seems too good to be true...it is.

St Nicklaus and "Black Pete" Amsterdam

9. Do not depend on Kris Jenner for any intelligent discussion of American History.  Her recent attempt to intelligently describe the rise of "black face" in late 18th century American Society was incorrect...you would be better off checking with the social historians about that unfortunate piece of Americana. During a recent trip to Vienna she was scandalized by the Viennese and their remarks that sounded racist to her.  She is correct to be outraged, but should have done her homework.  I myself have been shocked by remarks and traditions I witnessed in Central Europe that as an American I found to be racist, but I  learned about them beforehand and was able to respond accordingly.

10.  In the end, many of the young real estate tycoons finally realize that the most important aspect of their lives is not the "next deal", but the love and support they receive from family and spouses who keep them grounded and centered...an important lesson and a valuable one.

Race in America

Over this weekend there was a  rather significant demonstration in my neighborhood related to the issue of race in America. Race is, and has been for many years, the elephant in the living room in America. Ever since the arrival of Dutch traders in Virginia in 1609 with a cargo of African labor, race has been a polarizing divide in this country. In doing research on my Mother's family, the Conklings who settled in Colonial Massachusetts in 1535, I came across a bill of sale for a five year old slave girl named Phoebe.  She was sold to the Livingston family on Long Island for the goodly sum of 50 pounds sterling. The Conklings were glassmakers and later amassed land around the area of Southold on the North Fork of Long Island.  There are ample records that show many of them left slaves to their heirs in probated wills on record in New York prior to and post Revolution. The family was able to survive and prosper with the help of enslaved labor.


Slavery was not solely a Southern-based institution.There is ample historical proof that least 20% the population of New York City in pre-Revolutionary War time was made up of people held in involuntary servitude.  Unlike European indenture servants, who after an agreed upon time of service were free to pursue their own fortunes, slaves  were held in bondage for a lifetime.  And unlike Europeans who, once able to master the  language of commerce and trade, could easily "pass" into the dominant society relatively easily.  They "looked" right.  African slaves, due to the color of their skin, did not share that advantage.


Neither is segregation a thing of the past or only a problem in the Southern part of our nation.  As of today the three most segregated cities in the United States are Detroit, Milwaukee and my own hometown, New York City. The public schools in New York City are the most segregated in the nation. I certainly can attest to that.  In my 22 year career with the NYC DOE, I saw that segregation up close and personal.  My first week in the classroom in a public school, I asked why there were only three children of color in my top honors class, and 20 students of color in my academically challenged group.  I was told that is how the numbers fell.  I had come from a Lutheran school were my classes were evenly split racially and all were expected to achieve to the best of their ability and beyond. This attitude of blind acceptance on the part of the staff at my new school appalled me, but any attempt to buck the system was met with great resistance.  They would go by the numbers, and that was about it.


  So for many students of color it was a crap shoot, it depended on the attitude of those in charge of placement and balancing the size of the class as to where you wound up. And out of a staff of over 70, I can recall only 9 colleagues and one administrator who were African American in a school where 40% of the students were either African American or Hispanic.


This "crap shoot" mentality came back to haunt me this weekend, and not due to the demonstration and march led by the Rev'd Al Sharpton that began up the block from my apartment.  It was two articles in the local paper each one about a former student, one on Saturday and the other on Sunday.


These two young African American men were in the school around the same time. They were in the mid to low academic track...that is when we tracked students by perceived "ability" as reflected in standardized tests and teacher recommendation. They both had reputations for being "difficult" students.  They both lived in low income city housing projects with single mothers  who were discovering that their sons were becoming a "handful"...ie: growing quickly into adulthood. I think they might have shared the same circle of friends and shared in some misadventures.  But their paths must have diverged somewhere, and their lives took different courses.  One was recently sentenced to life in prison for his involvement in a gang related murder. The other just completed a supported artist-in-residency program at a local cultural center, and his work will be featured on display and for sale in a local gallery.


So, how does this happen?  One to be incarcerated for the rest of his young life, and the other on his way to a career as a noted graphic artist?  Is it just that "crap shoot" that worked out for one, but not the other?  Is there a lesson to be learned here? I think there is: Those of us who do have an unspoken advantaged purely due to circumstances of genetics need to be aware that "white privilege" does indeed exist, and has existed in this country even before its inception.  We all need to consciously work towards a better society where all of our children can have the opportunity to succeed creatively and positively.

Summertime...and the eating is easy.

What do I like most about summer?  I love the beautiful summer sun rises and sunsets that I get to view from my apartment.  I love that I can walk so short a distance and relax at Lyons Pool in Tompkinsville. And I love the plethora of flowering plants that assail the senses of sight and scent as we pass by them.  But the things I love most about summer is the ability to enjoy so many fresh fruits and vegetables in this season of plenteousness.

Melons, peaches, plums, nectarines, blackberries, tomatoes, peppers and various squashes are all  much more flavorful in summertime. Many of you have wonderful home gardens .  Connie Black and Shelia Hewitt  lovingly tend our own community gardens here at Christ Church.

But sometimes the home harvest can be overwhelming.  A family member recently begged me to take home some more summer squash as the family’s garden was in overtime production.  I took two…how much squash can one person be expected to eat in a week?  I know how difficult it can be to give away that green zucchini in August when the whole neighborhood is awash in squash, but there is a solution.

Are you willing to share your bounty with local families who are food insecure?  There are plenty of folks waiting on lines at food pantries across this island who would jump at the chance to get their hands on some fresh tomatoes, peppers, and even the ubiquitous zucchini to stretch their food budgets and offer healthy alternatives to their families.  You may not be aware, but here in New Brighton, we are in a food desert.  Not too many healthy choices in food selection can be made year round.

Our community garden here at Christ Church provides fresh produce for our Second Saturday program and sends excess to Richmond Senior Services for their choice food pantry.  And you can also get involved.

You can donate your bumper crops to a local food pantry or soup kitchen.  For folks who are dependent on Federal Food Stamps, the price of good produce can be prohibitive, but excess crops from home gardeners can be a great way to enjoy locally grown fresh foods.

So, if you can...give your extra tomatoes, peppers, eggplant and zucchini to some local folks who will really appreciate it, and not hide in the kitchen when you ring the front door with a basket full of your recent bumper crop.

And if you can include an easy recipe on how to use said fruit/veg....include it!  It will be much appreciated!

Bah! Humbug!

When did mainstream America become so mean-spirited?  A casual glance on local and national news outlets and following stories on social media has revealed a society that makes Ebenezer Scrooge look like a mere cream puff.


A recent poll on Huffington Post revealed that 56% of those polled were in favor of sending Central American refugee children home...no questions asked...just throw the  rabble out! About 40% of the same population were in favor of letting them remain until each got a hearing( called "due process"),and then throw them out, if the judge says so.


And as for "due process", people who are definitely NOT in the know are running their mouths about "teacher tenure"...which, for those who are outraged that educators have a job "for life",  means teachers are entitled to "due process" when it comes to arbitrary dismissal.  It was started as a response to chronic and systemic nepotism that was the pervasive way of doing business in school districts across the country in the 40's and 50's when the profession was top-heavy with women. A tenured teacher could not be dismissed for political or subjective reasons by her usually male superior who might want to give the position to a political crony's relative or to just a younger, and thus lesser salaried, person.  Don't kid yourselves, these things did and sometimes still do happen.  No teacher wants to protect an incompetent teacher or a teacher who is hurting students emotionally or physically.  They are a pox on the profession, and need to move on.  And, full disclosure here, I was a tenured teacher.


And it seems to me that more people than is logically possible claim to be spokesmen for various groups wrapping themselves in the mantel of justice...and this knife cuts both ways.


A recent horrific death occurred quite near my home.  A man, who the police have said was engaged in illegal activity of a minor nature, died in police custody under circumstances that are under investigation. He was selling loose cigarettes at a local park that is frequented by junkies.  The park, diagonally across the street from my home, is a respite of green criss-crossed with paths and benches and a fountain that no parent would let a child enter, nor would any local resident seeking a cool spot to sit and rest ever think of stopping there.


The community has been complaining for a long time that this place needed to be cleaned up, so the local precinct was sweeping by more often with this tragic result. There have been local demonstrations supporting both the police action and the grieving family the deceased left behind. A nationally-known, locally-based Civil Rights leader has taken up this tragedy as a personal quest and had announced a massive march and demonstration two weeks from this Saturday that would, in effect, close down the major artery than links this island with the rest of New York City: the Verrazano Narrows Bridge.  He has announced that he has "earned" the right to criticize the Police Department.


This event has the potential of virtually grid locking this island, and backing up traffic to the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Our local politicians are outraged; the local populace is asking the mayor to intervene; the police commissioner says the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, not the mayor, has to approve closing the bridge.  The Metropolitan Transportation Authority says all the mayor has to do is ask them, and they would comply with the city's wishes. No one is happy; everyone is blaming everyone else, and it seems that there is no room for compromise.


What has happened to civil discourse?  Why is everything a "line in the sand" event?  Where are the cooler heads?  As a nation perhaps we need to take a step, or two, back and look at ourselves. This is not how mature adults act within the context of democracy...I could be wrong, but I doubt it.  We need to begin to think about how our actions impact "the other".


A recent guest on a local NPR radio show was taking about how Americans are isolated into circles of people with whom they feel comfortable.  Many of us don't even know our neighbors, and others have no interaction with people from different ethnic and economic groups.  This had led, according to the commentator, to an alienated society in which we box ourselves into smaller and smaller social units.  We need to begin conversations across these units if we are to survive as a society.