Biding the time through November...

I don't know about you, but I am so very done with presidential politics. I don't want to have any more conversations with friends, family, neighbors or aquaintances debating the merits or demerits of the various and sundry folk who are currently running for elected offices in our nation.  I instead intend to make some personal space and time for knitting, reading, praying, meditating, swimming, and eating watermelon.

Knitting is a skill I learned in grade school, my best friend at Nativity School, Dorothy Jane Zilkowski, and I would knit together. I learned to knit watching my mother who, although she was right-handed, knitted left-handed because she was taught by a left-handed friend. I learned the basics from Mom, but Dorothy taught me the nuances of creating patterns with differing stitches.  I began by following patterns, and later on began to create patterns of my own relying on the algebraic equation mantra that one side of the equation must equal the other side  I create Irish knit scarves making up patterns based on seed stitches, simple cables and bobbles.  They are obviously not the traditional patterns, but my own creations.  Currently I am working on a shawl that has about six inches to completion and am already thinking aobut the next project.

Reading, done well, needs continued honing.  When I was a student, I was required to read many academic texts since I majored in History and later became a teacher.  Teachers have to do lots of reading to keep up with new developments in the profession.  When I got my second Master's in Theology/Church History, I got to do quite a bit of reading original documents for my research and thesis. But now my reading is more for pleasure.  I tend to read mysteries while traveling and non-fiction if I need to sharpen the grey matter. Unfortunately, reading local newspapers has lost its charm, and I now cherry-pick my daily diet of NewYork Times, The Daily News and Staten Island Advance articles. Crossword puzzles are still personal favorites,but that is another story for another day.

Praying is a daily discipline, although I have to admit, sometimes I let prayer time slip aside for other events that I might think are more pressing.  This is not a good thing, setting aside some time every day to do this is a personal challenge and goal.  In the Christian tradition, similar to both Judaism and Islam, various daily prayer times are  carved out: Matins, Noon Prayer, Evening Prayer and Compline ( also known as Vespers) traditionally frame the prayer lives of those in Christian monastic communities and provide a structure for personal devotion.  My personal goal is to intergrate Morning Paryer and Compline into my life.

Meditation techniques were introduced to me by the Rev. Claire MacPherson at General Seminary. I have tried several types over the  years and have settled on a modified  Buddhist meditative practice involving controlled breathing and focusing.  I have actually used these techniques with unruly classes and nervous teacher/candidates with excellent results.  I find this practice is also handy when I am forced by events I have little or no control over such as standing in long lines at stores, banks or international customs.

Swimming is a summer time indulgence that just gets better and better.  I live quite close to a city municipal pool that opens for special senior water aerobics early in the morning.  The class allows me to get in some quality exercise and swim time four times a week throughout the summer months.  I miss it tremendously once the pool shuts down in September.

Watermelon??  What can I say???...the proverbial summer fruit/food.  I don't think I have ever met anyone who dislikes watermelon, and sharing it is one way to bring a smile to the faces of anyone who is given a piece.  I do like the newer varieties that are virtually seedless.

So, I am trying to occupy my mind with sunny summer distractions so I don't have to think too much about the craziness of our American election madness.  I just wish I was more successful at filtering it all out.

Hot Time, Summer in the City...

Lyon's Pool SI,NY

We are well into the summer here in the northeast and especially here in New York City. Many of the natives will be heading out of town to the mountains and lakes of the Adirondacks or the beach communities of the nearby Jersey Shore or  Long Island.  But here I am...staying in town for another summer, and loving it!

Across New York City there are municipal pools.  Some are indoor, others are outside and only open during the mummer months.  This year the pools are opened until September 2nd. The three on Staten Island, where I live, are often underutilized.  I live around the corner from Lyons Pool and Recreational Center.  In Fall, Winter and Spring, I use the cardio-room and its treadmill at lest three times a week. In the summer I go to the early water aerobics class Monday through Thursday.  It is a forty-five minute workout.  There are also swimming classes for children and adults plus lap swimming in the morning and evening. One of my favorite things about living here is sitting on the roof deck listening to the children enjoying their time at the pool.

Jacob Riis Park

And lest we forget, New York is a city based on islands on the edge of the Atlantic Ocean; there are numerous beaches in four of the five boroughs: Queens, Brooklyn, Staten Island and the Bronx have more than their fair share of lovely beaches which are free to the public. From Midland Beach on Staten Island to the beautiful shore of Jacob Riis Park in Queens, Coney Island in Brooklyn and Orchard Beach in the Bronx, these beaches can be reached by subway, bus or car and offer cooling sea breezes to any resident who has a bathing suit, beach towel, an umbrella and a Metro-Card in hand. Bring along a cooler with a few sandwiches and cold drinks (non-alcoholic only permitted), and you can spend a day at rest "by the beautiful sea."

Another New York institution is free "Shakespeare in the Park" offered every summer by the Public Theater.  I recall watching Raul Julia and Meryl Streep early in their careers in "The Taming of the Shrew", a great production of "As You Like It", and others over the course of living here.  Nowadays, I do not want to wait on long lines for the tickets, but now the Public distributes free tickets in the boroughs. And here is a hint, if you can get to Staten Island, the ticket availability here is very good.

Bethesda Fountain

If beaches and pools are not your cup of tea, there are always time to take a stroll on a tree lined path in one of the city's many parks.  Each borough has one or more large ones that often have ponds, streams and other water features.  On my home county of Richmond you will find the lovely Clove Lakes Park that includes, as its name implies, lakes that offer boating and fishing...mostly catch and release. In Brooklyn the amazing Prospect Park is a green haven of serenity and peace.  Central Park in Manhattan is chocked full of ball fields, walking paths, lakes, and the lovely Bethesda Fountain where I hung out as an undergraduate at Hunter College. Fresh Meadows in Queens is another one of the parks where city residents can relax and contemplate nature at its best.

If it either rains or gets too hot to stay outside, there are several local museums that are both free and air conditioned! These include the National Museum of the American Indian, a branch of the Smithsonian Institute which is located at Bowling Green near the SI Ferry. The American Folk Art Museum near Lincoln Center is also free and houses a great collection of Amish quilts.  Other free museums include The Bronx Museum of the Arts, the Harbor Defense Museum at Fort Hamilton in Brooklyn, The Hispanic Society of America and the New York Public Library building at 42nd Street and Fifth Avenue.  Oh, by the way, all public libraries have free public bathrooms as well.

And remember, the ultimate free New York experience is riding the Staten Island Ferry. Just be careful that you don't fall for one of the Statue of Liberty/harbor tour ticket hawkers.  The SI Ferry is free, round trip takes about an hour ( you have to get off in SI, walk around to the waiting area to get the boat back, or you can walk along Bay Street to Pier 76 and get a great pizza for less than it would cost in Manhattan), and you can take all the photos of the harbor and statue that you want.  Just, please, let us natives sit  on the Brooklyn side in peace to read our paper. If you want to impress your significant other, take her/him on the ferry leaving at sunset and sit at the back.

Staten Island Ferry

So, there you go, boys and girls...lots to do here if you decide that a staycation is for you this summer.  Just remember, we have to share our city with tourists. We depend on them to bolster our economy...smile and keep walking.

Tell them right now.

A few weeks ago, I was informed that a friend from my past had died, and a memorial service was to be held at one of my former parishes. For several years we had been good friends.  She came over for holiday dinners, went to baseball games with the hubby and kids; took care of the dog when we went on vacation, and drew up our will...she was a lawyer.
As things sometimes happen, we wound up on opposite sides of a rather sticky situation.  We met to talk it out. She presented me with a ultimatum, a caveat, a requirement that she decided  I had to meet in order for our friendship to continue. This caveat was dependent on my relationship with a third party, one she felt she had to protect. I said I would not, and could not do what she insisted I had to do in order to remain in any kind of fellowship. She informed me that our friendship was over and walked out. She chose to sacrifice our friendship for the support of others she felt beholden to.  We never spoke again.
At her funeral, I felt some pangs of guilt, but realized that we all make our choices in life, and sometimes we are not the focal point in the lives of others. People come into and out of our lives.  They do things we like; they do things we hate.  Sometimes we understand why they do what they do, and other times we just don't get it.

This afternoon I attended a memorial service for the son of a parishioner who had committed suicide. This was a man in the prime of his life...44 years old who was trying to reconnect with his son and his son's mother.  His family, especially his father and brother, finally recognized that he was suffering from depression and had attempted to get him some real assistance in dealing with his personal demons.

I had met this man when his Mom died and he arranged her funeral. He was charming and confident.  He handled every detail and was a remarkable presence at her funeral service. He was the rock for the rest of the family.  What happened?

Because of things beyond his control he later felt that he was not living up to his potential; that he could have done things better. His depression made it impossible for him to see that he was loved, honored and respected by many folk who knew him.  The darkness had consumed him so very much that he could not see the brightness he had bought to the lives of family and friends who truly loved and cared for him. Depression is a terrible thing.  I have seen its effects on many friends, acquaintances and family members. The heartache it brings is all consuming.So many people at the memorial service spoke about how his mere presence in their lives made them better people. He should have heard that; I think it would have made a difference in his life.

Wonder what the lesson is here? Don't cut off your nose despite your face.  Don't put restrictions and caveats on friendship.  You will lose in the end.  And, just as important, let those you love and respect know how much you value their presence in your life.

Musing while waiting

Sitting in an airport lounge with a long wait between flights gives one the chance to sit back, nap(if you can), take a mental break from the daily routine, and do so much needed reflection.
The past few weeks have brought changes to the lives of several family members,as well as for me personally. After fifteen years of working in the certification unit of the Department of education after school and during the summer, I have fully retired. A meniscus issue has made trudging up and down subway steps uncomfortable at the very least and unfailingly painful at its most difficult. It was not a difficult decision in the long run because for the past two years the earnings from this part-time job put me in a higher tax bracket and my tax guy, Dave, made me solemnly promise that I would leave the job once my contractual obligation was up. It was a good ride and I met great people who worked for one of the largest bureaucracies on earth. And you know what? They were caring professionals who became concerned about the employees they worked with and for. I will miss them.

Additionally, I am cycling off a national board that I served for six years. With the work of a co-chair and design team, we put together an international meeting of religious leaders in Minnesota, no mean feat when you realize I live in New York and my partner in this endeavor lives in Baltimore. We did it mostly by phone,email and limited face-to-face encounters.

Unfortunately, another change was the result of a family tragedy. A young adult member of our family tragically suffered an accidental death. Although this was a devastating event, the consolation was a drawing close of family members from near and far encircling his parents an billings with affection and a quiet strength that I hope will sustain time through the difficult days they will face in the months to come. We know that the grif and loss will not disappear over time. They will scab and callous over, only to be reopened at unexpected moments. The world has changed for them and for us, but time still moves on....Weddings will happen; babies will be born, and new people will come into our lives who will not remember him, but still we will. And we will wish he could be with us to share these new moments.

I am currently reading a book called "The Lost" . It is a memoir written by the grandson of Holocaust survivors who searched to piece together the lives of six relatives who perished in the war in Eastern Europe. In one part his brother who is traveling with him on this quest to speak to those who knew his uncle, aunt and four cousins, says that the Their deaths are never final because there is always a void, a hole or bear spot on the family tree left there by their untimely exit from this life. And I think that is what happens to families who lose members unexpectedly. What family hasn't?

What is constant in this transitory life is that change is inevitable; sometimes we control it,but any times we do not. Change can be painful, but having an anchored spiritual base can help us endure those changes that causes pain, and accept those that bring new opportunities.


I wrote this two weeks ago before my recent trip to the Fjords of Norway.  More on that later.



Sent from my iPad

Connecting and re-connecting in the Electronic age.

In my very early childhood, my family was one of the first in our Bronx apartment building to have a black and white television set. It stood about three and a half feet tall, or at least it seemed to.  the screen was 15 inches wide and ten inches high.  It was a real novelty and I can remember many neighbors stopping by to watch shows on it.  One evening in particular stood out in a striking way.  It was a live feed from the California coast and it showed the Pacific Ocean crashing against a rocky outcropping. My Grandmother who lived with us who was born in 1886 kept repeating over and over again, " I can't believe I am finally seeing the other ocean." ( We lived in New York City, so going to the beach on the Atlantic Ocean was always a summertime event.)    

Years later when we moved into our house in Brooklyn, that same Grandmother was dumbstruck as she watched a man walk on the moon in real time. "I never thought I would see that", she said over and over again. She had lived through a lot in her years: World War I, Spanish Influenza Epidemic, Great Depression, World War II, election and later assassination of John Kennedy, the first Roman Catholic president,  Vietnam War, Watergate, Nixon's resignation...lots of stuff, yet these two events truly struck her with awe and wonder.
So, I wondered, what events in my lifetime have caused me to stop and wondered about the awesomeness of it all. There certainly are many things to choose from that have come along from the mid twentieth century into the early twenty-first. Pac-Man, desk top computers, tape decks, VCR's, and palm pilots, these all seemed to be long lived necessary inventions, but alas, they were all replaced by more and more efficient and , in most cases, smaller silenter and sleeker replacements, many of which were themselves were replaced in their turn.


So, I have wracked my brain for sometime now and have decided on two that have had an enduring effect on my life: the internet and unlocking the genetic code of DNA for a very related reason: connections and reconnections.

Through the internet, I have been able to reconnect with old friends and family embers not only across the country, but across continents. Friends who are living in England, South Africa and other far-flung countries are easily within reach on any kinds of social media.  We see photos of children and grandchildren, we get to share vacations, holidays and special family events that we are unable to attend in person. Friends and relatives on the west coast respond to notes from other friends across the Atlantic in Europe and beyond. We can follow the politician machinations of nations around the world with a simple click of the cursor.  This can be, as many will attest, both fascinating and frustrating...think about the current situation here in the US surrounding the presidential races.
The internet has made it possible for me to connect with paternal cousins in places as far as Ireland and as close as the Bronx.                                                                

The other development has to be breaking the DNA code.  This has lead to many marvelous medical miracles.  In my own family it made it possible to decode the gene known as Brac-1 which is a marker for cancer. Now, my paternal familial line provides a very cancer-ridden gene pool in which we swim. My paternal grandmother, tow paternal aunts, and one paternal cousin succumbed to breast cancer or its complications. Two of my sisters are breast cancer survivors, sue to the miracle of genetic testing.

Now, I challenge you to think about what are the two or three inventions/movements/research that have changed your life as well.  Just email me, I am interested in seeing what others think.

Strange bedfellows...well, just strange everything.

       

I have been trying, really trying, to stay above the political fray, that "sturm und drang"  which has become the stage setting for the primary races in this country.  Up until very recently, I have been able to avoid any involvement in the political process as it has been evolving around these parts.  I embraced my inner creative spirit and began watching a host of crafting and cooking shows on the local Public Television outlet.  I watched as Jacques whipped egg whites into soufflés, Rich gave professional plumbing advice to homeowners, and Rick guided us all over Europe telling us the best things to pack and how to buy a good loaf of bread in Paris, but politics finally caught up with me once the New York Primary came into view.
Feeling a bit guilty that I had not gotten at all involved with the political process, I made a modest donation to a favored candidate (Note: I am not saying which one. Nor will I tell you if you ask me.)
I then volunteered to do some phone calling, mostly because it gave me something to do; I got to see a few friends, and I knew the person running the phone bank needed some help during the day hours. I should have thought again about doing both.  I then began to appear on the political radar.
Suddenly I was on every A-list for fundraising and political action.  I began getting conflicting robo-calls from both major parties and for more candidates than I ever wanted to consider for dog catcher, let alone President of the United States. My name suddenly appeared on the mailing lists of everyone; the vitriol with which this literature is filled is an embarrassment the candidates and their handlers and insult to the intelligence of the American public.

In an attempt to understand what is really gong on in this whole process, I decided to collect my own "data" to help me make meaning out of all the gobbledygook that we have been asked to wade through. So over the past two days I watched six hours of "news" using ten stations: 3 major networks, 6 cable channels and the Public Broadcasting System.  I just "sampled" each watching the station for five to ten minutes noting the gender of the broadcasters, and how many times they mentioned each of the four major candidates. ( Sorry John Kasich, you did not make the cut.) My completely unscientific observations on the numbers are very telling:
Over the six hours I watched the news fifty men and thirty-seven women presented some form of what the networks consider to be "news". During that time Donald Trump was mentioned twenty-three times; Raphael Edward "Ted" Cruz was  mentioned seventeen times, and Sanders and Clinton tied at eight times each.

I also made some observations of my own: 
          1. Donald Trump uses his hands to distraction when he speaks; he also needs help with staying on point.  Perhaps we could find a high school debate coach to work with him...and a foreign policy specialist.
          2. Several powerful Republicans do not really like Ted Cruz, but his law professor liked him because he raised his hand quite a bit and had lots to say. It also seems his fellow law students did not like him either.  Teacher's Pet Syndrome?
          3. Bernie Sanders wife is one of his most trusted advisors who actually seems like a nice person.  Bernie still sounds like he left Brooklyn yesterday, and that's okay by me.  I lived there for seventeen years.
  4. Clinton will have to re-live some very unpleasant memories from her husband's presidency. Should she be held responsible for his bad choices? 

Fourth Sunday of Easter

Beginning last week, our Sunday Bible Study Group started their study of the Book of Acts, my favorite book in the Second Testament.  It was the first Biblical book I ever studied, and, as a history teacher, I really appreciated its flow as the writer described the history of how the Early Church grew and spread to include all kinds of people across the ancient world. Its sequencing was something I immediately understood, since that is the way I understood history as occurring, but Acts is more than the simple listing of events in the early church, it tells the stories of how different people came to know and understand the work of the risen Christ, our Lord and Savior.

The Book of Acts is an interesting piece of biblical writing.  It is the second half of the Gospel of Luke. It describes the spreading of the Church throughout the ancient world, beyond Israel encompassing many different peoples. It was intended to be read to a Greek speaking audience, a sort of sophisticated, well-educated group, telling the story of the establishment of the Church and its growth across the Mediterranean world. Acts has two major forces: the geographic shift from Jerusalem to Rome and the somewhat contentious juxtaposition of Peter and Paul.  Peter representing the traditional view of the Messiah, and Paul’s more global view of Christ’s message to the wider world.

In today’s reading from Acts, we know that Peter is in Joppa, a port city on the Mediterranean.  Joppa was the place where the cedars of Lebanon were delivered to King Solomon and important in the story of Jonah. It is the port from which he departs on his ill-fated journey that ends up with an encounter with a rather large sea creature…you may recall how that ends for him. Joppa is now part of the old quarter of Tel Aviv, a major city in Israel, more worldly and secular that Jerusalem…a bit more hip and modern.

In our reading Peter prays for Tabitha, a believer who has recently died.  It is reminiscent of Jesus’s encounter with Lazarus and Jarius’ daughter. In both of those instances, at Jesus’ command the dead rose again.  But what can this brief description and description of Tabitha/Dorcas tell us about her importance to the early church?

We know that she was a charitable woman; the widows were mourning her passing. Since she was able to help those in need, we can assume she was rather well off. She must have had some sort of prominence in the community since Peter came from another town, Lydda, at the behest of the community of believers at Joppa. We can assume she offered hospitality to the women to whom she ministered, for they made it clear to Peter that he needed to come…right away.

Hospitality was very much a signpost of the early Church.  There were no Hiltons, Marriots or Ramadas…heck, there were no Motel Six’s.  Travelers really did depend …” on the kindness of strangers”, as Tennessee Williams would have put it. People depended on likeminded people to help them find food and shelter.

And the early Christian communities were pretty tight.  Most groups met in private homes to talk about experiences, reflect on their lives and eat together remembering the meal the disciples and Jesus shared the night before he died.

Last Sunday you might have noticed that I was not here. I attended a unique Sunday service at a unique Church in Brooklyn…a block away from the Gowanas Canal. St Lydia’s is a mission of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America with support form the NY Lutheran Synod and the Episcopal Diocese of Long Island.  Sunday and Monday they have a Supper Church service very much like what Tabitha/Dorcas would have known and been comfortable in attending.  The gathered group brings ingredients and flowers for the meal, prepares and cooks dinner, sets the table and shares prayers, a homily and a Eucharist…then dinner is eaten and all hands clean up and go into the world in peace. 

But on the second Sunday, different things happen.  That is Waffle Church - a time for families with children to come together in the mid-morning to do some art that includes glue and glitter, guitar strings and singing, floor rugs and fooling around, and more fun than you can imagine. Grown-ups make waffles, peel fruit, pour juice, sing silly songs, and enjoy time with the kinder as they learn about faith and community. Kid friendly homilies intertwined with easily remembered songs are intertwined together to create a worship space that is comfortable and welcoming.

So, what can we learn from the experiences of Tabitha, the folks at Waffle Church and our gathered community at Christ Church? Well, I am not sure.  Perhaps we need to be open to the work of the Spirit among us, to be open to new ideas, to new ways of “doing church”, to preserve and honor those things that work for us, that help us in our spiritual journey, and to incorporate both and to keep what is central and holy in what we do.